Saturday, July 27, 2013

Results of Communication Scales

This was an interesting insight for me I asked a coworker to evaluate me and my 23 year old son. The most interesting was the anxiety of communication, when I enter a conversation that deals with uncomfortable issues I am very nervous, often times I will write down different responses so I can self monitor my response. I don't always have time for that so I was pleased to hear that others perceive me as comfortable in those situations. This does however point out that I often enter communication of a sensitive nature with a goal in mind, therefore I am not truly actively listening because I have an agenda.

A comparison where my evaluators and I had the same score was what type of listener I am, I was grouped in #1 people-oriented. I really thought I was more action oriented in my work because the days are so busy and there is not often time for empathic listening. The description for group one is that I have clouded judgment because I am very trusting of others, this is right on.

As a director and teacher I need to be able to listen to others and trust in myself that I do not have to prove that I know what I am talking about by interjecting my own experience and knowledge. Often in early childhood education we are struggling to prove this is a viable, worthy field. I have gotten in the habit of making sure others know that I know what I am talking about, which has clouded my listening skills.

Many lessons to be learned!


Thursday, July 18, 2013

Strategies for Cultural Communication

I find myself drawn to people of different races, religion, sexual orientation, varying abilities etc. I look forward to using the information and looking for the culturally specific nonverbal communication as well as learning how one would like to be treated.

I do find myself communicating differently with a woman at work who is from England. I feel we are very culturally different although there are no defining differences such as race, religion, political affiliation etc. I feel I tend to avoid communicating with her because she is quit negative and judgmental. I’ve tried to be the cheerleader and modeling positive non-bias actions and words, directly talking to her although she laughs and says I miss understand her. I feel like I’m crazy and not doing my job of listening, so I definitely need some strategies!


The three strategies I will use are attempting to think and feel what she is thinking and feeling as well as trying to understand how she would like to be treated. I will ask questions to make sure I am clear and fully understand what she is communicating both verbally and nonverbally. Lastly I will avoid negative judgment, something I am accusing her of and am doing myself. I am very open to suggestions if anyone has any.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Non-verbal Cues

This was a fun exercise even with my self-proclaimed observation skills I totally missed the boat on my interpretation of the non-verbal cues, in the show Parks and Rec.

With the sound off I had the relationship of the main character as a boss and her employees who were disgusted with her, they rolled their eyes, folded their arms, sighed and looked down. With sound on I discovered the employees were disappointed.

I assumed the main character was angry and a domineering boss, she did not smile much and her body posture was stiff. I thought she had a crush on a male coworker and was flirting with him, using a big smile and tilting her head when she talked.
With the sound on I realized this character was not domineering but she followed rules and is a bit nerdy. What I assumed was flirting with the male coworker turned out to be her wanting to be accepted by a male dominated work force. My assumptions were all wrong which changed the whole plot.


If I did this exercise already knowing the characteristics I would have seen a whole different picture. This really shows me that although I consider myself to be observant I cannot go on what I see and make assumptions. This is exactly what I have been doing with a coworker that I discussed in my discussion this week. Ooooo!

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Communication Behavors

My brother is a director at Proctor & Gamble, his job has moved from a designer to a director that helps teams address relationship obstacles, eliminating each persons ability and how they can benefit the team. This is truly fascinating to watch in action in an everyday circumstance. As he calls it being transparent, this is so effective with his teenage daughter, a larger heated mediation or getting updated on the latest news of someone he hasn’t seen for a while. He is very present with his vision and body language and he never points fingers. With his teenager he will say I’m feeling you are upset as his daughter screams she is not, staying calm he asks what is she feeling and she is able to tell him. He listens intently and reiterates what she has said in hope he understood completely. The transparence come from no assumptions, for example rather than telling his daughter you are making me feel frustrated, he words it that he is feeling she is upset therefore there is not blame it is a clarification. 


This is particularly affective when dealing with conflict and I would like to model my communication as well as the calm demeanor he uses. Another behavior is being fully present whether it is with a child, an adult or a large group. If he lived closer to me I would just follow him around and observe, it is amazing to watch.